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Savannah Morning News, 27 May 2006
Five Tips To Successful Dating
Your 'image' is your number one resource that you must use to make your dating experience a complete success! It only takes less than 9 seconds to make that first impression, and 75% of that first impression is based on how you look, whereas only 2% is based on what you actually say. Think about it, when someone approaches you for the first time, what he or she says can be taken very differently by how he/she is dressed. A man in a suit pays you a compliment and you may thank him, but if he is grungy and bohemian-looking, the compliment can take a whole different meaning. What you wear and your personal image adds so much to what you say and how you behave.
Here are five pointers to consider when dating:
1. Your image isn’t just about what you wear; it is about who you are! So the question is who are you? And are you communicating this in your style and lifestyle? How you represent yourself externally is what will naturally attract that ideal person to you. It is less about what you say but who you are. If you get your image right, then you won't have to even open your mouth to get their interest or to make your point. So before you go on your next date, ask yourself this question "Using five adjectives – how would you describe yourself?" Then take a look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if these five words fit with what you are looking at?
2. Bring the attention back to you! Too often we think of our ideal date and their necessary qualities and forget to consider our own. What do you believe to be your best assets? Pick only five of them. If you find this hard then maybe you should consider having a little pep talk with yourself; if you don't feel excited about what you have to offer, how can you expect someone else to be? Take a step back and do some more preparation on you, until you realise that for your perfect partner you won't need to sell yourself. Otherwise, take these assets and make sure you include these in the way you dress and convey yourself. For example, if you believe you have a good sense of humour, then introduce a fun motif to your outfit, or if you are creative, think of a creative place to take your date.
3. Have an upgrade! Whether you are a relaxed, down to earth person or a sophisticated diva, consider having an upgrade. An upgrade gives you instant authority and is an indication of your own self-worth. The easiest way to upgrade is through your style and through your 'power pieces' – your bag, briefcase, tie, shoes, watch, jewellery, make-up or belt. Invest in a better version - ensure these items are of quality, are reflective of your personality and certainly don't look like you have pulled them out from the back of the wardrobe for your date.
4. Be authentic! Too many people think there is an art to dating, and the truth is there isn’t. The art is simply being yourself and being comfortable with it. So don't try to be a salesman or think you have to say the 'right thing' or wear the 'right thing'. It is hard for anyone to read you if you are not being authentic and for all you know you could be on a date with your soul mate but they just simply don't see you. Let them see who you are; if they don't like it, well thank god you didn't waste your time.
5. You are perfect exactly the way you are! Your image is your own unique language. The most 'attractive' people are those that make the most of their language and understand how to communicate it. 'You can't love another, until you love yourself', as the old adage says. So increase your own self-worth and you increase your attractability.
Don'ts In The Dating Game
Overexpose – You don't need to flaunt who you are to get attention. Overexposure can be in what you wear (or how little you wear) and also in what you reveal about yourself. Showing your cleavage will most likely attract the wrong guy and telling your date your life story isn't a good idea – tell him when he/she earns your trust.
Unfeminine or unmasculine – a man likes a woman to be ladylike and a woman likes a man to be macho. This doesn’t mean you should drop your hanky on the floor and expect him to pick it up, or that he needs to flex his muscles. Remember he doesn't want to hear you do 'man-talk' and she doesn’t want you to be her girlfriend.
Overcompensate – you don't need to rush out and buy a whole new outfit (unless you haven't set foot in a store for 5 years) or wear a full-face of make-up. Like an interview, people can go overboard and think they should dress in a certain way. You just need to be yourself with an extra special touch thrown in to show you have made an effort. You will look like you are trying too hard otherwise. And don't go to the other extreme where you feel self-conscious so you 'play yourself down' and under-compensate. Men can often do this, yet you end up selling yourself short.
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©2006 Sarah Whittaker [www.thewardrobeshrink.com].
Don't know what to wear? Book a consultation with Sarah and learn to create your own style and identity through your Image Type.
Sarah Whittaker has been featured in numerous newspapers and magazines worldwide, and writes The Wardrobe Shrink Newsletter full of the latest fashion trends, celebrity style and honest image advice. You have my permission to copy this article for your website or publication, so long as this entire byline remains intact. I'd appreciate a quick e-mail to let me know where you're using it. Thank you!
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